Callum's Rant
This amused me greatly, and I feel it should get as much exposure as possible. Here you go, chaps... I find it quite ironic that a collapse in personal vanity should flourish as an unquestionable comic highlight (originally posted at the balding www.dailycallum.blogspot.com).
A. Aside from the sloppy grammar and unenviable grasp of English diction, I must say that this is among the truest things I've ever had the oppurtunity to read. I absolutely detest it when people steal my ideas, and have been known to rant on incessantly, broadcasting my worthless opinions across the internet - where such evil characters as Faust, Adolf Hitler, Mickey Mouse, Whoopi Goldberg, and James Swanton have been discovered. Why, I've known people steal my dentures, trobo-paline, invisible dog leash, inflatable stool, dog with puffy tail, lemon chutney, ideas for a web blog, and my comic ramblings. And I for one steal just about all of those from The Simpsons.
B. I must admit to being quite flattered to be called a "Mister." Usually I'm simply a Lord, Baron, or Master & Commander of the Universe, along with more degrading and dispensable titles thrown my way.
C. And, of course, I'm quiet anxious for my site to get all publicity possible. Thank you for the link, kind sir! You shall be rewarded in Heaven! You can see clearly from the dates on our blogs that Callum's existed long before mine - I am the first to admit that. True, I did start in March, whilst he started in April. But I started in March of this year! Callum, of course, started in April of last year! Which explains everything very neatly. Just one of those extraordinary brainwaves I come up with after I screw up. And I have no idea what a "sight" is. Please enlighten me, by whatever means
D. I think you'll find it's my right whether people have a go at me or not, and fortunately most of those people were mysteriously struck dead after I loaned them a men's afteshave that a giant bat I keep on a coat hanger senses, instinctively tracks, and kills the owner of, before flapping back to watch Q/I. And, yes. I'm quite proud to a be a "f*****g"plagiarist. Like many human beings, I have stolen the letters F to G hundreds of times in my lifetime, and I'm not prepared to stop now. I'm sorry but that's just the way I am. I have also been known to pirate secret documents rushing to and from the Pentagon. These things are best kept a secret.
The full hilarity is enclosed below. Well, tra la la la la:
A. Aside from the sloppy grammar and unenviable grasp of English diction, I must say that this is among the truest things I've ever had the oppurtunity to read. I absolutely detest it when people steal my ideas, and have been known to rant on incessantly, broadcasting my worthless opinions across the internet - where such evil characters as Faust, Adolf Hitler, Mickey Mouse, Whoopi Goldberg, and James Swanton have been discovered. Why, I've known people steal my dentures, trobo-paline, invisible dog leash, inflatable stool, dog with puffy tail, lemon chutney, ideas for a web blog, and my comic ramblings. And I for one steal just about all of those from The Simpsons.
B. I must admit to being quite flattered to be called a "Mister." Usually I'm simply a Lord, Baron, or Master & Commander of the Universe, along with more degrading and dispensable titles thrown my way.
C. And, of course, I'm quiet anxious for my site to get all publicity possible. Thank you for the link, kind sir! You shall be rewarded in Heaven! You can see clearly from the dates on our blogs that Callum's existed long before mine - I am the first to admit that. True, I did start in March, whilst he started in April. But I started in March of this year! Callum, of course, started in April of last year! Which explains everything very neatly. Just one of those extraordinary brainwaves I come up with after I screw up. And I have no idea what a "sight" is. Please enlighten me, by whatever means
D. I think you'll find it's my right whether people have a go at me or not, and fortunately most of those people were mysteriously struck dead after I loaned them a men's afteshave that a giant bat I keep on a coat hanger senses, instinctively tracks, and kills the owner of, before flapping back to watch Q/I. And, yes. I'm quite proud to a be a "f*****g"plagiarist. Like many human beings, I have stolen the letters F to G hundreds of times in my lifetime, and I'm not prepared to stop now. I'm sorry but that's just the way I am. I have also been known to pirate secret documents rushing to and from the Pentagon. These things are best kept a secret.
The full hilarity is enclosed below. Well, tra la la la la:
A. One of the things I hate most in the world is people stealing your
ideas, and claiming them as your own. Doesn't it just get on your
nerves?!!!B. For instance,
Mr James Swanton...C. ... has a blog: www.jswanton.blogspot.com
has a
rather irritating habit of stealing my ideas and posting them on his
own
blog.AND he copied me; i had a blog first.So if you ever visit his
sight, it's
basically mine...D. ... please feel free to have a go at him, the
f*****g plagiarist!!!
posted by James C. Swanton at 12:59 PM
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