Financial Advisement

"The secret to money management is to be boldly corrupt and corruptly bold... Do I get paid now? I require funds to construct a flimsy wooden chalet for a wounded chaffinch!"

The late, great Callum Jeffrey is your go-to guy here. He'll give you top notch advice and threats, and all for a miniscule sum.

"Buy that… Sell that. Take out a loan on that. Spin that to face
that. Eat that. Scrape it clean! Scrape it clean! Put these on those. Tack down
those at a forty-four degree angle. Need more back tack! Wash that. Put that on
ice. Befoul that. Saw that one off. Mentally scar that. Explode that. Swivel
that… No – changed my mind: rotate, rotate! Fortify that. Filter this. Lick that
off that. Subtract that perpendicular table from that perpendicular lighthouse.
Travel with that. Swallow that. Bat that. Bat that! Hmm… Out of
that."